


Stage Left

by InariChi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Community: kaisoobiography, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 00:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20648312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InariChi/pseuds/InariChi
Summary: As the curtains open on the stage of life and the spotlight glows, one man stands within its luminescent glory. Jongin simply can't look away from that shining star who lights up his life, his world, and his heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Best Days of Our Lives (2019)
> 
> Prompt: Self-Prompt #Pure
> 
> A/N: Hi everyone! I sincerely thank everyone who decides to give my fic a whirl and I hope you enjoy the read! ^^  
I would like to thank the lovely and _patient_ mods for their support and just being awesome people who worked with me around my busy schedule to get this done. They are amazing! And I would love to be here for the next round of Best Days :)  
I would also like to thank three lovely ladies, [Lulu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_not_knife/pseuds/life_not_knife/works) (also a kaisoo author, check her out!), Macks and Estela, who were my support group and helped me in those times that were hard to push through. Stay lovely!

**P**eople say the stage is a place where dreams come true. A place for those who wished to reach beyond the stars into an unlimited, vast space that continued on for an eternity. In the theater, the weak become strong, the down-trodden can stand tall, and the forgotten can be remembered, even if only for one night.

Those who chase after the stage, ambitious and passionate, appeared to glow. Their presence growing and resonating within the people who dared to watch. 

Kyungsoo was proud to be one of those people. 

Jongin’s eyes were nearly glossed over, tears gamboling along his ducts. They threatened to fall before his blinks could chase them away. He lifted his glasses with the back of his palm to wipe the tears from his eyes.

There, on that very stage was a man of utter brilliance, a light so bright that it became blinding, a smile so invigorating that it made others want to smile too. Contagious and infectious, this boy would be a star one day within the galaxies of stages behind the curtains of dreams. His presence was electric, the crackling energy palpable in the atmosphere.

And for him to be such a star meant that he was impossible to reach. 

This thought echoed solemnly in Jongin’s head as he continued to watch the play of ‘Peter and Wendy.’ His mind’s faculties laid with the male lead, Kyungsoo, who was the best actor to grace the stage within their high school. 

A true thespian at heart, Kyungsoo managed to garner a name for himself while in middle school and did nothing but polish and refine his skills while in high school. 

Jongin knew gaining even a glance from Kyungsoo would take all the courage he could muster, but his fear of rejection halted any opportunities he could have had to confess. 

So instead, Jongin decided to watch from afar as an extra, going unnoticed in the back of the stage. That was how he felt under the searing and beaming light that was Kyungsoo. 

As he sat within the school’s orchestra as concertmaster, his eyes almost never left the brilliant man on stage. Even when given the cue to start the arrangement by the conductor, his eyes shifted for a moment before he turned to face the stage yet again. 

In all that he did, his mind could never see much else beyond Kyungsoo.

He soaked up this experience to the best of his abilities. There was only one showcase left, and it happened within a week’s time. 

Jongin stared. He looked upon the actor whose emotions and aspirations lie upon his sleeves so visibly and brazenly to be seen. No one could deny his efforts, nor his love for the arts, and those things topped the ever-growing list of things Jongin loved about him. He convinced himself that perhaps he had gone crazy because he simply couldn’t look away. His body physically wouldn’t allow it. 

As if it were a trance that seemed undeniably hard to tear out of, he sat there spellbound. And he was completely enraptured, pleasantly so. There was no fighting, no protesting, or denying it either. Jongin was utterly and irrevocably in love. But all he could show for it was _nothing_. 

Well, _nothing_ aside from a myriad of pining love letters.

  
  
  
  


“Ugh,” rolled off Baekhyun’s tongue almost as if it was routine, “Are you seriously going to kiss every letter like that? It’s _ really _starting to get creepy.”

Jongin pressed damply licked lips onto his folded letter and grinned to himself. “It’s for good luck!” he noted as he neatly placed it in an envelope and sealed it shut. 

“Needs to be for good riddance.” he jumped from Jongin’s desk and frolicked around his bedroom. “How do you even know if he reads them?” he reached for a book on the bookshelf, absentmindedly. 

“I, umm...I like to think he does.” Jongin shimmied the letter into his book bag and stood. “Plus, one day maybe he’ll try to respond.” he smiled.

“There’s just one problem with that, he doesn’t know who _ you _are.” Baekhyun chuckled.

“Oh right,” Jongin’s shoulders lowered with a frown. 

“How about you just tell him. Quite frankly, this crush has gone nowhere and it’s already been two months…”

“Baek, You know I can’t.” Jongin flopped on his back, splayed across his bed. His words became a jumbled mess when talking to anyone he remotely liked. Not wanting to embarrass himself, he wanted to maintain a safe distance, always watching from afar. In the _ near _future, he hoped to tell his crush about his feelings but for now, he would simply be a secret admirer. 

“I know.” Baekhyun plopped onto the bed, sitting beside him and Jongin sat up. “But one day, you are gonna have to, or live to regret it.” he tipped up Jongin’s chin with his fingers, smiling to assure him. That encouraging gesture worked, and Jongin responded with a smile of his own. 

“Things will turn out alright...I hope.”

  
  
  
  


The hallways were fairly quiet but, Jongin didn’t mind. It presented the perfect opportunity to place the letter inside his crush's locker. Around this time, not many students loitered within the hall, early mornings were meant for overachievers who wanted to go above and beyond, their noses buried in homework anyway.

_How cliche _, he thought as he wiggled and pushed the letter into the cracks of the locker, praying to the gods that it didn’t become too wrinkled. Though his way of delivering the letter was hardly original, that didn’t stop him from coming almost every day and anonymously proclaiming his love. 

Poems, sappy words, lyrics for a song; all of it danced within the pages of his letters. Sometimes they were long, other times short, but often times they rambled on and on without him realizing the length.

Jongin had nothing to gain by being anonymous, but his docile nature and shy demeanor stopped him from being outright. To expose himself was a great fear that haunted him, he _ never _wanted to get caught. 

As the thought passed through his mind, he heard someone turn down the hall. Jongin moved quick, backing away and shoving his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. He strolled along the hall, feigning to have been doing nothing at all. 

Sighs of relief ran through him when the student passed by, and he smiled at them subtly. The student sneered in response and continued walking as if annoyed.

That was normal. He was the quintessential music geek within their class, not to mention school. But what could he do? He enjoyed the violin for his own _ personal _reasons. 

Of course, the main reason having to do with Kyungsoo.

Lingering around the school’s campus with nothing to do, he turned to the library for an early morning study session. When more students began filing into the library, he left to meet Baekhyun inside the cafeteria. Apparently, his friend missed breakfast every morning, which was funny, because his mom claimed he never did. He chalked it up to Baekhyun being a glutton. 

“Morning,” Jongin pulled out a chair and sat down.

Baekhyun nodded, his fork full of grits. “Did you do the deed?” he chewed.

“Yup.” Jongin rested his chin in open palms, dreaming about his crush and what his reaction would be when he found the letter.

“Jongin,” Baekhyun called but there was no answer. “Hello...” he sing-songed, waving a hand in front of Jongin’s face. “Hey Kyungsoo is over there.” Jongin whipped his head in the direction Baekhyun pointed. “Jeez. Your selective hearing is definitely turned on.” he laughed before taking another forkful into his mouth. 

“Ha. Ha.” Jongin deadpanned, “It’s honestly not funny.” 

“Oh, but it is my friend. You’re crushing way too hard.”

“I can’t help it. He’s _ so _perfect.” Jongin sighed. “He’s smart, courageous, handsome, kind, passionate—” 

“I got it, I got it, I honestly don’t want to hear about him anymore than I already do.” Baekhyun’s eyes flickered up from a moment from his plate. “Speak of the devil. Kyungsoo is over there.”

“He’s an angel, not a devil. And like I’m falling for that _ again _.” Jongin rolled his eyes. 

“No, I’m serious this time, just look over there.” Baekhyun tipped his head.

Reluctantly, Jongin slowly turned to find that Baekhyun wasn’t lying. There, Kyungsoo stood among a crowd of friends, a huge smile lighting up his face. His laugh resonated like the chimes of bells to Jongin. With rose tinted glasses, Kyungsoo appeared like an early morning sun, warm, bright and delightful. 

Jongin’s entire mood shifted, his eyes sparkled and smiled just as his lips did. 

Baekhyun bit down a scoff. 

“Isn’t he dreamy?” Jongin swayed, before flopping his head onto the table. He grunted in frustration. No matter how dreamy Kyungsoo was, he was a far off dream. One that he couldn’t imagine that would come true.

“Yeah. Dreamy.” The bitterness in his tone was nearly palpable. 

“You’re just mad that no one is crushing on _ you _.” Jongin poked light fun with a grin.

“I don’t need anyone, trust me...” he shook his head, “he’s leaving by the way.”

“Oh, I just remembered I have to be somewhere...” Jongin jetted from his chair.

“Sure you do.” Baekhyun whispered with a slight shake of his head before Jongin left the table to follow Kyungsoo. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Today was the same as any other day for Kyungsoo. There was a joyous bounce in his steps, and he appeared to be in a good mood. Many students greeted him in the halls and attempted to talk with him for a short moment. Everyone showered him in love and praises. It was only natural, seeing that he was akin to a celebrity within their school. 

It didn’t take long before Kyungsoo opened his locker and looked inside. Jongin held his breath and watched closely from down the hall and around a corner. 

Suspicious behavior was definitely suspicious. But Jongin simply couldn’t bring himself to care.

Kyungsoo wasted no time in opening the envelope and Jongin could hear his heart thump inside of his ears in anticipation.

That beautiful smile which grew across Kyungsoo’s cheek made his trip worth it.

Jongin adored the way he read the letter thoroughly, and how his eyes followed every word on the page. Kyungsoo was entirely engrossed within the letter, and as he continued, his smile only widened. 

Such a sight became far too precious to Jongin whose heart now threatened to swell and burst. But, he held it in, squealing internally, barely managing to repress his facial expressions himself. 

Then suddenly, it felt like his heart had stopped. All of life’s essence drained from his limbs when lithe fingers tapped on his shoulder.

He was totally and utterly busted. 

“Hey, Jongin.”

Jongin relieved a sigh, his hand hovering over his heart. “Minseok. Don’t scare me like that.”

The junior chuckled. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be creeping around a corner. Why are you here anyway? What are you looking at?” he reached his neck around trying to look down the hall.

“Nothing!” Jongin squeezed out, high and unnatural, turning to face him and blocking his eyesight.

Minseok was clearly not convinced, “Hmm...” he squinted his eyes and scanned the hall until he stopped at Kyungsoo. “Ah, that’s it! So you like Kyungsoo, eh?”

Jongin scratched behind his ear, an awkward rasp of breath tumbling from his lips. “No...no,” he attempted to dismiss him with a nonchalant shrug. But it came off as fake as he made it seem, and they _ both _were incredibly aware.

“Jongin, you’re not fooling anyone.” Minseok crossed his arms over his chest, “Who would have thought?” he smirked, “Should I tell him?”

“No!” Jongin nearly yelled, reaching out to grab Minseok by the shoulders with both palms. A few nearby students glanced in their direction. 

“Okay calm down, I’m just kidding.” Jongin visibly relaxed as Minseok’s eyes glinted mischievously. “And you just confirmed it for me.”

He tensed up. “Please don’t say anything.”

“I won’t...maybe.”

“Maybe?” Jongin arched a brow. 

“Yeah, this seems fun, I mean, I know Kyungsoo, we’re in the same class. You better get a move on quick. I hear Seohyun is after him.”

“Seohyun, the basketball cheerleader?”

“You mean the _ hot _ and _ flexible _basketball cheerleader. She’s every guy’s dream wrapped neatly in a bow. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kyungsoo chose to go out with her. She has plans on confessing later.”

The urge to panic rose up Jongin’s spine and he pushed it back down, barely. “Later? As in later today?”

“That’s what I hear. I’m not sure though, so you still have time.”

“But I don’t even know if he likes guys.” he said with a groaning whine, both palms slapping to his face. 

“Well, I think you better find out soon.” Minseok gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder before leaving and Jongin sighed.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The next time he saw Baekhyun, he was lingering in the hall, fully delved into conversation with a cheerleader named Taeyeon. Jongin held back a smile. 

It was well known that his best friend had a thing for her, and he never hid it. Openly flirting was one thing Baekhyun did to all of those he coveted, and Jongin wished he had half of that confidence; what would come of it?

When Taeyeon took her leave, Baekhyun watched her go. It was the perfect time to approach seeing as his friend was now alone.

“Baekhyun,”

He turned at the call of his name, “Hey,”

“Taeyeon, huh? I thought you didn’t need anyone,” Jongin chortled in the way of an expel of air.

“Yeah, I don’t but,” he ran a hand through his raven hair, “she’s into me, I just know it, but something is holding her back.”

“You sure you’re not just convincing yourself that?”

“I’m not as delusional as someone we know…”

“Who?” Jongin’s face morphed into confusion. 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Anyways,” he moved to his locker and opened it, “What’s up?”

“Well, this morning I heard that Seohyun was going to confess to Kyungsoo.” Jongin bit his thumb.

Baekhyun nodded, “Seems it’s true. Taeyeon just told me about it.”

“So w-what should I do?” His eyes appeared desperate as he looked at Baekhyun for answers. 

Baekhyun raised a brow before asking, “You really want to know?”

Jongin nodded madly, “Help me out. I’m at a total loss. I know once she confesses, I won’t stand a chance.”

“Then, you just have to confess first.”

“What!” You could hear the explosion inside of Jongin’s mind detonate along with the bulging of his eyes. 

“You heard me Ji, _ you _have to confess first.”

Jongin spluttered, mouth gaping and moving until something similar to words finally choked out, “A-are you insane!?”

“Maybe.” Baekhyun shrugged.

“I c-can’t. I’m not ready yet.” He shook his head. 

“Look,” Baekhyun slammed his locker shut, “You may not ever be ready, Jongin. But you have to man up and do it. Remember what I said the other day? One day you will have to, and the time is _ now._”

“B-but—”

“No buts! What isn’t there to like about you, Jongin? Hmm?” he crossed his arms over his chest, expectantly waiting on an answer. However, Jongin didn’t speak and stood there as his thoughts ricocheted and bounced all over the walls of his brain. Nearly animated puffs of gray steam could be seen rising from his head as if a fuse had broken down and stopped working. Baekhyun gave up on waiting. “There isn’t anything not to like!”

“B-but—”

“No buts! Jongin, you are the leader of the first violin section, the concertmaster. You are talented and passionate, and a damn good composer. You’re smart and kind, and thoughtful! He would be a fool _ not _to fall for you.”

Those words resonated deep inside Jongin. He was moved by his friends compliments. In the past, Baekhyun had never been so candid and expressive. Jongin used to jump through hoops in order to gain a _ true _friend, someone who would accept him for who he was. Though being homosexual wasn’t something he felt ashamed of, he never felt comfortable telling anyone in fear of being ridiculed and abandoned. Until he found a friend in Baekhyun.

Tears gathered inside his eyes, the emotions stirring so intensely that he could bawl. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yes! Get that in your noggin already, silly bear,” Baekhyun balled a light fist and gently tapped Jongin’s forehead, “You’re such a good guy, Jongin. I’m truly rooting for you.”

Without uttering a sound, Jongin moved in to hug him, scooping the unexpecting Baekhyun into a bear hug. It was tight and snug, he didn’t even allow Baekhyun to hug him back, as his friend stilled within his embrace, scrunched up and uncomfortable from the unforeseen intimate gesture. 

“I got it, I got it already, so let me go.”

Jongin stumbled away courtesy of Baekhyun’s light and playful push. He wiped a tear from his eye. “Thanks Baek,” he sniffed, “you’re a really great friend.”

“Yeah, yeah, just be sure to send me on vacations when you become a famous musician.”

“Even if you’re an asshole sometimes.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun yelled, and they both broke into a fit of giggles. 

Jongin sighed as he began to simmer down from laughing too much. “Okay, I will try,”

“Good,” Baekhyun patted his shoulder, “Be confident. Be you. I’m positive you’ll be fine.”

Jongin nodded, “Okay.” He steeled himself and balled his fist before releasing them. 

He was the leader of the first violin section. He was the concertmaster. He was talented and passionate and a damn good composer according to Baekhyun. He was someone who loved and adored Kyungsoo even with his imperfections, and he wanted to be in a relationship with him. 

Jongin convinced himself that today was the day for his confession, for him to step forward onto that small and shabby boat of faith and forge straight ahead into the depths of courage. He would leave his insecurities and doubts at the shoreline and go toward a future of the unknown; and within that unknown laid many possibilities. 

As he walked down the hallway after the school day ended, he chanted like a mantra to himself—_ I can do this, I can do this _—He was prepared to let everything go and make his dream come true. He could do this.

  
  
  
  


_ I can’t do this. _

His precious notion of manufactured confidence ultimately cracked like glass and shattered when he stood before a scene that came straight from the pages of a romance manga. Standing before him were the very two individuals he didn’t want to see within a light year of one another.

Seohyun approached Kyungsoo merely moments before Jongin. Which lead him to taking numerous steps back and hiding around a corner, appearing once again, like a creep. His heart drummed heavily, the fear of almost confessing still wracking through his limbs.

The opportunity to speak with Kyungsoo was no less than perfect. The thespian traveled alone after school with his backpack over his shoulder. If Jongin had arrived a few seconds earlier, he would have been the one to stop him in his tracks and speak with him.

But as fate would have it, he once again was demoted to an extra within their scene, looking at the two main leads from afar.

This wasn’t right, Jongin thought. It was a very personal matter and it would be impolite to spy on them. Eavesdropping was never something Jongin saw himself doing but this was too good to pass up.

_No, I have to leave, come on me, move._

But in this scenario, he would be the first to know if Kyungsoo accepted or rejected her. Being present to witness the confession gave him an inkling of satisfaction in that he would have the news straight away, and perhaps an excuse to move on if he accepted her confession. Yet, despite his unabating curiosity, Jongin still felt as if he were intruding, and his rationally virtuous side won the tug of war with his shoddy side, and he ultimately chose to leave. 

However, Jongin couldn’t move as much as a step before he heard the words _ I’m sorry _ tumble from Kyungsoo’s lips. His ears perked, twitching like a cat and he swiftly moved back into his hiding spot to hear the rest of their conversation. Any thoughts protesting against this decision drowned within his mind, Jongin shushing them up time and time again. 

“You’re sorry?” Seohyun’s sweet voice came slow and quiet, hints of disbelief between her words. She stepped closer to Kyungsoo, her arms hesitating to reach out and eventually bailing on the idea.

“Yes, Seohyun I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo rubbed his nape, “I have someone else that I like.” 

Jongin and Seohyun’s eyes widened; their shock so identical and sudden that, in unison, they both gasped. Jongin hurried to slap his hand over his mouth. 

“You like someone?” Seohyun asked, eyebrows turned up in confusion, “Who?”

“Just someone,” Kyungsoo evaded, it was _ very _noticeable. “So it wouldn’t be fair to you. I hope you understand.”

Seohyun absentmindedly nodded, though it appeared she was still confused, attempting to wrap her mind around the idea. She soon snapped out of her daze with a shake of her head. It was a gentle smile that came after, showing how understanding she could be. “Well, I hope it works out for you, I’m going to go.” She turned on her heels and left with calculated, speedy steps. She didn’t dare look back. 

Kyungsoo kept his eyes on her as she took her leave and heaved a sigh.

And Jongin, well Jongin was nowhere in the vicinity, he was two blocks away running to tell a friend. 

  
  
  
  


Typically, a phone call would be enough to suffice with news such as this, Baekhyun thought. But leave it to the drama queen Jongin to always keep him entertained. Baekhyun wasn’t totally surprised to see a disheveled Jongin before his house gasping for air after what seemed like a long three mile run. 

He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. Then, with a light tone, he asked, “May I help you?” 

Jongin wheezed and held up one finger to signal giving him a second as he caught his breath. Baekhyun barely contained his laughter. Especially with the length of time it took Jongin to calm down, his friend tiptoed along the lines of being comically histrionic.

“He says he has someone he likes.”

“Who?”

“Kyungsoo!” Jongin rushed inside his home, whizzing by Baekhyun who stood by the door frame. 

“Well, come on inside, it’s not like I was in the middle of napping or anything.” He closed the door.

“How could you sleep when I'm in the middle of dying!” Jongin barreled toward the kitchen table, as if it were his house, and flopped down in a chair. His breaths were still winded and scattered. 

“You seem fine to me, except for the fact that you sound like a chain smoker whose asthma is acting up,” Baekhyun reached up to grab a glass from the cabinets and filled it with water from a pitcher. “Here,” his hand slid the glass across the table, “drink this and calm down.” 

Jongin hurried to guzzle it down, every gulp loud and full, as he attempted to gather his thoughts. When finished, he placed the glass on the table, “Thank you.”

“So, tell me what happened. I want all the juicy details.” Baekhyun sat in the seat across from him. 

“Where is your mom?”

“At work, she won’t be home until close to midnight.”

“Oh, well...I kind of eavesdropped on Seohyun’s confession…”

“Not surprising.”

Jongin visibly recoiled, appearing affronted, “I didn’t mean to...it kind of just happened? That’s not what’s important right now. He said he has someone he _ likes_.”

“Did he say who?”

“No, and that’s what’s bothering me. I can’t figure out who it could be.”

“Interesting,” Baekhyun shifted, leaning back in his chair and scratching his chin. “I’m coming up blank, I can’t think of anyone he’d be interested in. There’s far too many people who like him.”

“So this person must be amazing, huh? They probably don’t even go to the same school.” once again, his forehead fell onto the table in another bout of frustration, “There’s no hope.”

“Sure there is!” Baekhyun straightened up, “You just have to win his heart over.”

“First, you tell me to confess, and now I have to win his heart too?”

“I mean it’s love, Jongin, what did you expect?” He shrugged.

“Oh, and you’re such an expert on love says Taeyeon.”

Baekhyun raised a hand over his heart, feigning pain, “You wound me. She’s just playing hard to get.”

“Mhm.” 

“Seriously, there’s no other way. Unless you have a better idea, I’m all ears.”

“I...have...no idea.” he groaned, “What do I do? How do I win him over?”

“Let’s start with the basics, okay. First, you have to talk to him.”

“Talk?!” Came out nasally and high pitched, disbelief within his wide, brown eyes. 

“Mhm.” Baekhyun nodded, satisfied with his suggestion.

“_Talk _?” he asked an octave lower, as if saying it twice would make it any more feasible.

“Yes Jongin, you know that thing you do when you want to communicate. I mean we are doing it right now.” Baekhyun quipped. 

“I’ve never _ talked _to him before, what do I say?”

“Jongin!” Baekhyun slammed both open palms on the table and stood, Jongin flinched from the loud bang, looking up at him surprised, “Why are you so afraid? He’s just a person like you and me. You can talk to him about anything. I don’t have all the answers.”

“Okay, okay, chill. Jeez.” Jongin gestured in a calming way, waving both hands down in an attempt to tell Baekhyun to sit. “Do you need a glass of water?”

“I’m fine, just get over your fears already. We’ve been through this in the hallway. You’ll do fine okay, believe in yourself more.”

“I guess...I can give it a try.” 

“Great!” Baekhyun smiled, “Now, get out.” he stood from the table pulling Jongin along by the arm. 

“Wow, you’re really kicking me out right now?” he said as they stopped before the door.

“You interrupted my beauty sleep and frankly, this could be solved tomorrow. Now, go.”

“Did I really think you were such a great friend earlier?” Jongin stumbled out the house from Baekhyun’s push, and when he turned around, he was met with nothing but the paleness of an egg white door. He wondered how many times Baekhyun had pushed him recently.

“Talk to you tomorrow!” Baekhyun yelled from behind the door, and Jongin could only shake his head. 

_What a ‘great’ friend, huh._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo having a crush on someone didn’t stop Jongin from his favorite past time of placing letters inside his locker. 

It was the morning after the confession and Jongin arrived to school early as he always did. Everything appeared normal and routine, except for the fact that Kyungsoo stood at his locker. 

When Jongin saw the thespian after turning down the hall, his steps immediately halted.

_Abort! Abort! Abort!_

Every nerve within his body screamed for him to turn around and run, but he didn’t, he couldn’t. As though his feet were cemented to the ground, he was unable to move at all. Jongin was slow in processing the various unexpected things happening to him right now. Like an old 80s computer, he failed to load, stopping short of reaching one hundred percent.

Before fully grasping his chaotic thoughts, Kyungsoo closed his locker and began walking toward him. The thespian tinkered with a small shoe box, trying to stuff it inside of his book bag while he continued to walk. 

And just like a scene from an 80s movie, Kyungsoo tripped over his own two feet, and fell to the tiled floor. Out scattered countless envelopes, some open and others closed. Folded papers peppered the tile halfway down the hall, his fall glorious within its own right. It was somehow impressive how cliche and opportune it seemed.

Jongin was quick to react, putting Flash to shame with the dash he made to help Kyungsoo. He knelt on his knees, quickly scooping up the envelopes in his hand and collecting them against his chest. These papers felt familiar, the way they were folded, and the handwriting—

_Wait_.

The more envelopes he gathered, the clearer it became to Jongin. These were _ his _letters and they were collected inside that shoe box which Kyungsoo held. 

His ears became hot, embarrassment struck his limbs like lightning, and he paused for a brief moment. He shook out of it fast, scurrying along in hopes that he could finish this quickly. After all of this time, he never thought Kyungsoo stored his letters as if they were precious to him. That thought immediately brightened his mood, a smile so grand stretched his cheeks that it was hard to repress. 

He continued moving closer to Kyungsoo, picking up the letters as he went along. Neither of the two looked up, too occupied in collecting the papers. When he finally arrived in front of Kyungsoo’s feet, Jongin’s movements stopped.

As he looked up, it was as if he was looking at someone mirror his exact motion, because so did Kyungsoo.

Their gazes met, and what he didn’t expect was for Kyungsoo’s eyes to widen more than his own. In comparison, Jongin’s surprise would be at the level of a sloppy and cheap Christmas gift, while Kyungsoo was an unexpectant partner who just received a proposal for marriage.

This confused him.

“J-jongin?” he sputtered, bewildered and taken off guard.

This confused him _ even more _. 

Jongin’s mind blanked, allowing an awkward and cringey hush to veil over them.

“H-how do you k-know my name?” he internally kicked himself. Were those truly the first words he wanted to say to Kyungsoo? However, the situation felt surreal to him. His crush spoke his name, and that was something Jongin had never even dreamed of dreaming about.

Kyungsoo swiftly stood up, rose tinted blush spreading along his cheeks until reaching the tips of his ears. It was the first time Jongin had ever seen him so flustered. He wanted to squeal but held himself back. 

“I, um...orchestra?” Kyungsoo mentioned, unconsciously gripping the box in his arms a bit tighter. 

“Oh! Right,” 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo subtly smiled, “I’ve seen you before during our practices and performances. You play the violin, right?”

“Oh, right,” Jongin scratched his ear, “That’s me...” he chuckled to ease the awkward tension but it did next to nothing to relieve his worries. His heart threatened to rocket into outer space, it thumped so loudly that he was afraid Kyungsoo would hear it.

“Ah, you have those…” Kyungsoo timidly pointed to the letters gathered in Jongin’s arm. 

“Oh, right,” _ Is this seriously all I can say? Get it together Jongin! _“I’m sure you want these back.” Jongin moved closer, placing the letters in the offered box that Kyungsoo held out.

“Thank you for helping me pick them up.”

“It’s no problem. Are you okay? You fell pretty hard back there.”

Kyungsoo’s face exploded with pink hues, and he tensed up, “Y-you saw that?” 

It was clear to Jongin that he wished no one had seen him fall. He briefly regretted bringing it up. With a slight nod, he said, “Yeah, but I think I was the only one, so no worries,”

“O-okay. I’m fine, just a couple of aches here and there. But, are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Jongin pointed to himself, surprised by the question, “Yes, why wouldn’t I be…”

“Well...” Kyungsoo bit his lip as hesitation settled in his next words, “You’re sweating an _ awful _lot.”

Jongin hurried to use the bottom of his t-shirt to wipe off the sweat from his forehead. He berated himself for being nervous enough to secrete so much that Kyungsoo could literally _ see _it. “How about now?”

“Better…I’m Kyungsoo by the—”

“I know,” Jongin quickly interrupted with a silly grin, which soon faded after realizing what he had just said. In an attempt to redeem himself, he added as an afterthought, “W-what I mean is, who doesn’t know who you are? With being the lead actor and all.” his hands danced about, gesturing and moving in a blundering way.

“You like theater, Jongin?” his eyes looked up expectantly. 

_How lovely _. Jongin sighed.

It was as if angels cascaded down to Earth and showered him with all of the blessings in the world. Listening to his name being called from those plush lips, was exceptionally delightful. Jongin fell into a daze for a moment before snapping himself out of it. He cleared his throat. “I do, I think theater is really interesting,”

“That’s great then. I’m happy about that.” That heart-shaped smile almost knocked Jongin out. It was one thing to see if from afar, but another when seeing it closer.

“Me too,” he said absentmindedly, “I’m happy too.” he smiled as well, giddy and goofy, in a daydream-like state. His happiness soared over the moon.

“Good.” Kyungsoo teetered on his feet, swaying back and forth.

“Great.” Jongin followed up.

“Wonderful.” Kyungsoo’s palm hovered over his mouth as he let out a small, light giggle. And if that wasn’t the purest and cutest thing Jongin had ever heard, he didn’t know what was.

“Amazing,” With the adjective game going on, perhaps Kyungsoo thought Jongin said this out of participation. But truthfully, he was referring to that giggle—that divine, soul healing giggle that was just for him. 

“Well, I have to get going…” Kyungsoo said.

Being thoroughly consumed with their conversation, Jongin failed to notice the students beginning to swarm the hallway. “Okay.”

Kyungsoo made a turn to leave but before taking a step, he looked over his shoulder and said, “See you later, Jongin.”

“Later, See you,” Jongin was certain he said that out of order, but what did he care? He was floating on a cloud right now, and nothing could stop the spreading of joy inside his body. He had finally talked to Kyungsoo, but he had also failed to confess. He could literally kick himself.


	2. Chapter 2

******W**hen lunch time rolled around, Jongin entered the cafeteria with cheerful steps. There was a moment when he broke out dancing within the halls, the happiness couldn't be contained, overflowing and causing his limbs to move. Of course no one was around to see him, or at least, he hoped there weren’t.

Dancing was another hobby of his that he felt could take him far if he really tried. For now though, he focused on his music and composition, which were very important to him.

The cafeteria was filled to the brim with chatty, boisterous students, teeming with life. He didn’t mind it because they were the physical representation of what went on inside of his mind. He welcomed the chaotic nature of the room, embracing it because he was similar in excitement.

When he saw Baekhyun trying to find a place to sit, he hurried over, the news of his conversation set on his tongue.

“Baekhyun!” he raised a hand and waved it to gain his attention. 

The other was quick to find him and nodded. They sat at an empty table and Jongin gushed about everything that happened. 

“You won’t believe what happened to me this morning!” he leaned forward on his forearms, eyes broad and glittering.

“You’re right, so why don’t you just tell me,” Baekhyun took an overzealous bite of his pizza. 

“Psh, you’re no fun,” he clicked his tongue. Baekhyun shrugged as he always did. “I talked to Kyungsoo!” Jongin leaned closer, most of his torso now along the table.

“And how did it go?”

“I think it went well…maybe a bit awkward? I didn’t get to confess to him though,” 

“You took the first step though. I knew you had it in you,” Baekhyun picked up his second slice, “And because you were so brave, I’ll give you my other slice.” 

“I’ll pass,” Jongin held up a hand to stop him.

“Suit yourself then,”

“But, can you believe it?”

“Yes...I actually can. It’s just talking, Jongin.” 

“I know, but it’s _ Kyungsoo _.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that as well. You’re just too shy. Whenever I like someone, I talk to them the moment I see them.”

“Well excuse me, not everyone can be so courageous.”

“I know, it’s just, I don’t find it hard. But I am happy for you, really. So what will you do next?”

“Next?”

“Yeah,” he took a sip of his milk, “You have to talk to him again, get to know him a bit and then confess. Sounds like a good plan to me.”

“Get to know him, but I know so much about him already.”

“You say that, but he’s a complicated person as well, I’m sure you don’t know everything. You should try to hang out with him sometime.”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun. He was easy to talk to this morning, and very sweet. Oh! He saved my letters! When I saw him, he had a shoe box filled with all of them. Even the ones from two months ago!”

“So they must be really precious to him.” Baekhyun arched a brow, “This is promising for you then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Use your head Jongin, he likes your letters enough to keep them, so what does that mean?”

“That he likes them and wants more? I haven’t been able to write one lately.” he pouted.

“I suppose it can mean that, but what I’m trying to say is that you have a chance. All you have to do is tell him that you are the one who wrote them. He’s probably looking for that person. Remember how he said that he 'likes' someone. I’m betting that was just a front, when really he’s looking for his secret admirer.” Baekhyun wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Oh,” Jongin nodded in agreement, “That makes a lot of sense. Baekhyun you’re actually pretty smart.”

His face fell into a stale glare, “Why gee, thanks? I mean I am within the top ten percentile of my class and all.” he smiled.

“I’m in the top five, so get on _ my _level.”

“Shut up!” Baekhyun threw a piece of pizza crust at him, and he and Jongin laughed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Orchestra rehearsal came like a flash, his school day whooshing by due to his elated mood. Nothing could bring him down from his high, it affected him the entire day and even during his violin practice.

The orchestra prepared for the final showcase within two days. There weren’t many obstacles to overcome having played the same arrangement for four weeks now. Everything must come to an end, and it was saddening that he would no longer play for Kyungsoo’s theatrical performance.

While thinking of theater, Jongin happened to pass the auditorium on his way to the main building. It was late into the evening, and most extracurricular activities ended an hour ago. He stayed behind, cleaning the instruments, as it was his turn to do so.

In a bout of curiosity, Jongin walked inside, looking around the space that he shared with Kyungsoo most of the time. 

And like everything else this week, he was taken aback and shocked that someone was still on the stage practicing. As he opened the entry doors near the back row of the seats, he peeked his head inside.

The seating area was dim, the only light spying down onto the stage. Jongin squinted to get a better view, only for his eyes to broaden upon realizing that it was someone he very well knew. 

Kyungsoo bit his thumb and picked as his nails as he paced, the play’s script within his other hand.

Jongin slithered inside between a small crack of the door and made his way toward the stage. He wished to get a _ better _and closer look at Kyungsoo as he practiced. However, he didn’t want to disturb him so he thought it would be best to watch from backstage on the side, where the open curtains lingered.

The stage was littered with various props; wooden mile marker signs leading the way to Neverland, cardboard waves stationed at the left side hidden behind a huge plastic pirate ship and mast, where white sails hung free. Everything appeared strewn across the stage in a disorganized way, and Jongin thought they must not have enough space for every prop backstage. 

For a simple high school theater, there were only a few rooms backstage including the scene shop and dressing room. There were also bathrooms for the performers and not much else. 

He traveled up a ramp to the right of the stage, his steps light as a feather, not making very much noise. Though he came to realize that it wouldn't have mattered if he brought an entire marching band. Not one thing phased Kyungsoo who held such deep concentration on acting. 

Jongin stood and observed him quietly. He looked out from behind the curtain and it was odd seeing the orchestra pit from such a viewpoint. Without much thought, he stepped forward, trying to get a closer look but failed to see the short sign below his torso. 

His foot came in contact with it first and down the sign went, along with a clumsy Jongin, tripping over something stationary. 

The fall was thunderous, loud and echoing throughout the vast auditorium. Kyungsoo flinched hard, whipping around in the direction of the crash. He took off running toward Jongin. 

“Ah,” Jongin grimaced, his calf throbbing and aching. Though the pain was quite immense, it all vanished when the soft touch of Kyungsoo’s palm fell onto his bicep to help him stand. 

“Are you alright?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knitted together out of concern.

As he stood, he brushed off his pants, looking at his hands which stung from breaking his fall, “Yeah, I’m fine...”

On the contrary, Jongin was _ not _fine.

Being caught so openly sneaking around and watching him brought along a feeling of dread. He wanted nothing more than the Earth to split below his feet so he could fall inside and never emerged. Maybe then Kyungsoo would forget about his creepy and embarrassing behavior.

“Looks like it’s my turn to help you after a fall,” Kyungsoo lightened the rather tense atmosphere, “What are you doing here?” 

Well, that was one question he hoped and prayed Kyungsoo wouldn’t ask. His thoughts short circuited, “I...Um, I...w-was…” _ Being creepy and watching you. _

Kyungsoo smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes, “You were watching me, weren’t you?”

“Watching _ you _?” Jongin pointed to him, “Nah...” he dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand, “I was just checking out the props here,” he reached over and stood the sign back upright, “Yup, seems sturdy, I think my job here is done.” He turned to leave the shameful scene, but was snagged by Kyungsoo’s grasp on his wrist. 

His entire body quivered. Those warm, delicate fingers touched him, and Jongin wanted to jump with glee, but he held it back with a gulp.

“Since you’re here anyway, why don’t you help me out?” Kyungsoo relaxed his grip, but didn’t let him go. 

“Me, help you? But you’re the expert here.”

“It’s always more fun when you practice with someone else,” Kyungsoo’s cheeks spanned into a gracious smile.

Now, how could Jongin say no to _ that _? 

“Okay.”

“Great!” Kyungsoo pulled him onto the center stage and Jongin followed behind, dragging his feet lightly. “You’ll stand there, and read this as Wendy,” he placed the script inside of Jongin’s palm, “I know all of my lines of course, so just follow my lead,”

Trickles of sweat formed on Jongin’s brow. He had never acted a day in his life, it was not something he imagined himself indulging in either. For him to even step foot onto a stage was rather ridiculous, even to himself. He couldn’t act nor pretend to be someone else. The difficulties that came with acting were far too great. 

However, the passion in Kyungsoo stirred something inside Jongin. He wanted to be a pillar of support to this person who desperately tried to perfect his craft even when rehearsals had long since ended. Admiration for that searing passion reared its head, and Jongin began to feel excited about helping Kyungsoo practice. 

Their first attempt at reading the script came with a level of awkwardness similar to waving at someone who wasn’t waving at you. Jongin inwardly groaned, but he didn’t falter and kept on going in hopes that things would get better.

Every word, sentence and paragraph came with expressions and gestures for him to execute. The aptitude to perform them simultaneously proved to be a challenge for Jongin. However, Kyungsoo was a natural, seamlessly flowing and projecting as though these were his words and not from a written script.

Somewhere amidst their acting, Jongin stopped to stare, watching Kyungsoo act closely. The words on the pages were long forgotten as his consciousness strayed, besieged by the talented thespian who glowed with dedication and conviction. 

Kyungsoo’s zest was intimidating and limitless, reaching and surpassing the stars.

Jongin was awed, fascinated, and speechless. 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo broke from character, his eyes falling upon the motionless male. 

“You’re amazing…” Jongin heard himself say, surprised that those words came from his mouth.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo grinned, “It’s something I work hard at.”

“I can tell,” 

“Want to take a break?”

Though the little effort Jongin exerted didn’t constitute a break, he would do anything to get off the stage. “Sure.”

Kyungsoo took a seat at the front of the platform, his feet dangling over the edge, “Come sit here,” Jongin followed his lead, sitting beside him, but not too close. He wanted to leave space in between them for his own sanity. “Acting is fairly hard, but it can be fun too. Is it the same for playing the violin?”

Jongin nodded, his gaze settled on the crimson seats in the front row, “The violin wasn’t my first instrument,”

“Oh?”

“I used to play the piano, but I thought the violin’s sound was beautiful, so I took classes for it. It was actually painful,” he chuckled, “But it paid off in the end,”

“I would love to hear you play the piano,”

It’s been years, Jongin thought. He hadn’t touched those ivory keys since he was eight years old. Yet, because it was something Kyungsoo wished, he’d be remiss not to allow his dream to come true. 

“There’s a piano around here somewhere...there,” he pointed to the Casio Celviano that sat within the orchestra pit. He hopped down from the stage and sat on the bench before the piano. His fingers gently ran along the keys, “What should I play?”

“Hmm…” Kyungsoo’s eyes flitted to the stage lights in thought, “Something that you enjoy, whatever it is that comes to mind.”

Jongin nodded as his hands hovered before the keys. Anxiety was mild amidst the nostalgic feeling wrapping him in a cloak of warmth. Ever since middle school, he studied the violin, exhausting himself and staying up countless nights to learn. 

The piano held a foreign feeling beneath the pads of his fingers. However, instinctively, the notes began to dance, flowing to an arrangements that he didn’t quite remember. Forgotten memories grew forth as he recalled bits and pieces of the melody and improvising whats was lost in between. It was enjoyable, and a small smile lifted Jongin’s expression. 

While being immersed in playing, he failed to realize Kyungsoo moving closer. He didn’t notice until the thespian’s elbows rested atop of the piano. Kyungsoo lowered his chin onto his folded arms and closed his eyes, listening to the sweet, melodious tune belonging to Jongin. 

As he continued, Kyungsoo slowly started to sing, low and soft, only loud enough for the two of them to hear. His words were an array of somethings and nothings, blurred sentences of hums, a few sanguine lyrics slipping between the lilt. He was never off pitch or tune. Improvisation came easy to the thespian, it was as if his every breath began and ended with theater, and Jongin couldn’t stop himself from falling in love all over again.

The song came to a beautiful, soothing end, the melody resonating within the air seconds after the last notes were played.

Kyungsoo opened his eyes, “That was lovely, Jongin.”

He was sure his face was similar to a tomato by now, “Thank you.” Kyungsoo saying his name was quickly becoming something precious to him.

“You’re very talented!”

Jongin sheepishly scratched the back of his head, “Not as talented as you are,”

“I doubt that,” Kyungsoo sat on the bench next to him, and those tomato cheeks blew up, his face fully flushed with red. If Kyungsoo noticed, he didn’t say anything about it. And Jongin was thankful for that. “I think you’re very passionate about music, you’re in the orchestra after all,”

“That’s the pit orchestra,”

“Oh, I remember learning that there is a pit orchestra and a symphony orchestra, though I never really learned the difference,”

Jongin’s body involuntary turned toward him, “Well, many musicians are trained in a classical style, but the pit orchestra is a bit different. We have to be able to play multiple instruments at times, and we have to play in many different keys, styles and tempos. It’s really fun. Though I’m in a symphony orchestra as well, just not at this school,”

“Wow, so you’re super skilled and talented then!” Kyungsoo’s eyes gleamed, a smile curving lush lips below. “I always knew there was something about you. You always seemed confident when playing, it was nice to see…”

“You watched me play?” 

“Sometimes...” Kyungsoo’s face became identical to his own. “I m-mean, I saw you playing during practice and you always played the best,”

Jongin squinted his eyes, skeptical. How would Kyungsoo know that he was the most skilled musician without having prior knowledge about music? “I’m the concertmaster, which is the leader of the first violin section,”

“What does a concertmaster do?” Kyungsoo tilted his head.

_ So cute _ ! Jongin almost lost himself there, but reeled his emotions back inside, “Well,” he briefly puffed out his cheeks, “There are _ so _many things that a concertmasters does but seeing as I’m in high school, it doesn’t truly mean much. It’s just that when there’s a violin solo, I’ll most likely be the one to play it. Except for concertos, which is when a soloist comes in.”

“That’s really cool, so you can even play solos!” he shifted closer, “In a way, you could say we are similar then.”

“How so?” Jongin asked. 

“We both love the arts and are talented within our fields, that’s awesome!”

“I agree, I think you’re the most talented actor in our entire school.”

Kyungsoo, flustered from the compliment, lowered his head, “You’re really sweet,” he said softly. 

Jongin’s heart expanded inside his chest until it physically ached. 

This was the moment he waited for, he had to come out and say it now. Confessing never came fast and easy to him, it took nerves of steel and preparation, but this was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up. 

“Kyung—” The door to the theater opened with a loud bolting clank, gaining their attention and completely shattering Jongin’s chance. 

An old janitor walked inside, “You kids still here?” the man fixed his glasses, “You kids gotta go, I’ll be closing the place up soon.”

“Okay!” Kyungsoo yelled before turning to Jongin, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. We have the final rehearsal after school.”

Jongin smiled though it was faint, “Wouldn’t miss it.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
In the span of one day Jongin had spoken to Kyungsoo _ twice _and he was beyond satisfied with the results of his efforts. Though the task was ordinary and rudimentary, it didn’t stop him from congratulating himself after school the following day. 

The chance to speak to Kyungsoo passed by with so much as a nod and wave between them. During rehearsal, there weren’t many opportunities to speak to one another. With the theatrical performance the next day, there was no small talk or unnecessary gossiping allowed to hinder their practice. Everyone was on pins and needles, perfecting everything one last time. 

It was a fun experience Jongin would attest, though stressing and sometimes annoying, he learned many things for his future as a violinist.

And just like any other violinist, he had to buy strings for his instrument. So he planned on treating himself to some new strings. Although he wouldn’t use them for the performance, he still needed them sooner rather than later. 

Alone, he walked down the streets of Seoul, combing through the outlets and stores, enjoying his time being out. He hadn’t visited his usual violin store yet, and decided to window shop to pass the time. 

While doing so, his cell phone began to ring.

Jongin fished for his phone in his back pocket before picking up, “Hello?”

_ “Jongin, are you near a bakery or donut shop? Bring me something sweet,” _

“Baek, did I get hired for an assistant job I know nothing about?” he continued walking, aimlessly looking in the stores.

_ “Yes, I hired you yesterday for my services,” _

“And those services were?”

_ “Well, duh, giving you advice and not just any advice either, advice that works,” _

Jongin rolled his eyes with a playful smile, “Okay fine, I’ll pick you up some donuts on my way home,”

_ “I knew I kept you around for something…” _

Jongin didn’t reply. Baekhyun laughed on the other end of the line, expecting a snotty retort of some kind but fell silent at Jongin’s lack of response. 

_ “Jongin...you there?” _

“Kyungsoo..:”

_ “Yes, yes, Kyungsoo this, Kyungsoo that, what about him?” _

“He’s here.” 

Jongin stood motionless along the sidewalk, surprised to see the thespian. It wasn’t very likely to be at the same place at the same time. Seoul had many places to go shopping and he didn’t expect to see Kyungsoo here.

_ “What are you waiting for? Go get em' tiger!” _

“Baek, he’s so cute outside of school!” Instead of a tiger, Jongin reminded him of a domestic house kitten.

The roll of Baekhyun’s eyes could be heard from the receiver of the phone—yes, heard.

“_Goodbye, Jongin _,” now that Kyungsoo was in the picture, Baekhyun gave up on any notion of Jongin buying him donuts. He clicked his tongue and hung up. 

Jongin panicked for a moment. He looked at his reflection in the store window and fixed himself up, blew a few puffs of his breath in his palm to see if he needed gum and was on his way.

Making their meeting seem like an accident felt weird, so Jongin decided to initiate contact and call out Kyungsoo’s name. 

“Kyungsoo!” he waved, hoping it would be enough amidst all the strangers walking by. 

The thespian turned his head to look around but didn’t quite find Jongin until he called his name again. And there that gorgeous smile was. It spanned across Kyungsoo’s features, so ethereal and warm making Jongin tingle inside. 

“Hey, Jongin!” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened, a small chuckle rolling from his lips. “I didn’t expect to see you here, are you out shopping?” 

“Same here,” Jongin moved closer, stopping inches from Kyungsoo, “I was just looking around to pass the time, I wanted to buy strings for my violin,”

“Ah, I see…” he hesitated, his eyes flickering to the sidewalk for a moment before continuing to ask, “Would you like some company?”

Jongin had to repress the _ HUH? _which almost flew from his mouth. Instead he replied with, a much more mature sounding, “Sure.” following up with a smile.

That was easy, _ too _easy. It made him seem foolish for being so afraid to do what Kyungsoo did so effortlessly. 

“Want to head to the violin store?” Kyungsoo pointed a thumb behind him, “I was trying to find something for my mom’s birthday but I can’t seem to find anything she would like.”

“Actually, I’m kind of hungry.” He patted his stomach. 

“All you have to say is ‘food’ and I’m there!” Kyungsoo perked up, grabbing Jongin’s hand as though it was natural. “Let’s have a look around?” He led the way, and Jongin followed along, distracted and excited all the same. 

Holding hands with Kyungsoo just may cause him to have a heart attack. It thumped wildly, doing a solid 300 beats per minute, Jongin simply knew he would die soon. Instead of brooding over his impending demise, he allowed himself to relish in the moment, and grinned to himself. 

At a small and quaint pizzeria, near the corner of the shopping outlets, they were seated quickly and left with a menu. There weren’t any tables available, so sitting in a booth was their only option. 

To Jongin, it was an intimate setting, and if anyone looked at them at this moment, it would appear to be a date. That idea itself caused Jongin to stiffen. 

“Hmm…” Kyungsoo peered at the menu closely, his nose seconds away from brushing against it. “I can’t seem to choose between pepperoni or sausage, bacon, maybe ham, too.” his finger pointed to the page as he continued to read.

Jongin felt his lips lift to one side, Kyungsoo was far too adorable. “What about meat lovers? Sounds good?”

Kyungsoo snapped the menu closed, “Sounds perfect,” he placed it on the table, “So, are you excited about tomorrow?”

Jongin nodded as he picked up his complimentary glass of water, “Yes I am, though a bit sad that it’s the last performance,”

“Me too,” Kyungsoo’s shoulders fell, “But, we will still see each other after the play is over, right?”

Hearing Kyungsoo want to continue to meet him outside of theater made his heart literally skip. “I would love that,” Jongin smiled. The waitress swooped by to take their order and they waited on their food.

“Oh, today, you wore glasses, but you don’t wear them all the time, do you?” Kyungsoo sipped his water.

“No, I just wear them in the pit to read the music sheets, they get in the way sometimes,”

“I think they look really nice on you,” Kyungsoo rested his chin in an open palm.

“Thank you,” Jongin shied away, his face turning red. He reached for his water again.

“Actually, you’re pretty cute,” 

At those words, Jongin nearly spilled his drink, his fingers slipping as he grabbed the glass. Kyungsoo was far more straightforward than Jongin gave him credit for. “You’re...I don’t know what to say, thank you.” the crimson in his cheeks deepened. 

“It’s simply the truth. I don’t know why we haven’t talked before,”

Jongin _ knew _why. It was because he desperately tried to keep his distance, when he should have been closing the gap between them all along. “Me either, but we’re talking now,”

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Hey, I have a question,” 

“Shoot,”

“Well, being a famous thespian, do you find it hard with all of your fans?”

“No, not really, and Jongin, I’m not that famous,” Kyungsoo chuckled, “I’m a small fish in a pretty vast sea. It can be very overwhelming at times,”

“You don’t seem phased from all the attention at school, how do you do that?”

“By taking it one day at a time. There are always people who come up and talk to me and I find it fun, making new friends. But with you, it was a bit different.”

“Don’t tell me it’s because we both fell in front of each other?”

“Ding, ding, ding!” Kyungsoo threw his head back, seamless laughter weaving through his voice. “We’ve met during some weird circumstances, and it’s rather funny. Plus, I enjoy talking to you,”

“Me too!” Jongin involuntarily leaned forward.

“Most of the time, I try to stay energized, but even I want to cool off some days,”

“I see, that’s fair. You don’t have to be like that every day,” 

“And there’s one fan in particular who I’m very fond of,” 

Jongin felt his chest burn, envy brewing deep inside. It was as if someone wrapped their appendages around his heart and gave it a hard squeeze. Was this fan the person Kyungsoo liked? He thought. 

“W-who is that?” He dared to ask, curiosity at the forefront of his emotions. 

“Would it be weird to tell you that I don’t know who this person is?” Kyungsoo drummed on the table with his fingers, “I mean, we haven’t actually met, this person they...send me letters,”

Wind knocked from Jongin’s lungs in a low gasp, his entire body stilled, sweat beginning to build. “O-oh, r-really?” he rubbed his palms on his thighs. “Y-you don’t find that creepy?”

“Wha—creepy? Of course not!” Kyungsoo had a little bounce as he tapped his legs beneath the table.

“They make you h-happy?” Jongin asked, though he was pretty well aware of the answer.

“Yes, but I haven’t received one in two days I think. I kind of miss them already, I’ve been spoiled,” he sighed, “I can tell that person is very affectionate and thoughtful. They’re too sweet.” Jongin could die happily knowing that Kyungsoo appreciated his letter to this degree. He should have known, given that he saved them in a shoe box. “Do you remember that morning when I fell?

“I do,” Jongin said.

“I thought I could catch my secret admirer then, but turns out, he didn’t come that day. I’ve been quietly looking for that person,” Kyungsoo sighed, “It’s hard to look for someone who doesn’t want to be known,”

“I would think so,” he cleared his throat, “What do you like most about the letters?” since the topic had already been brought up, Jongin pushed his luck, learning more about Kyungsoo’s opinion on them.

“I think, I like how candid and inspiring they are,” Kyungsoo smiled, “I would love to send them a letter myself...maybe, one day.”

“One day...I’m sure you will.” He said above a whisper, inciting a heartfelt grin and nod from Kyungsoo.

Their food arrived not two minutes later and they enjoyed their meal slowly, while delving into deep conversations. The day ran away from them as night drew in closer. Time seemed to move quicker when Jongin was with Kyungsoo.

After dinner, Kyungsoo accompanied Jongin to buy his violin strings, and they shopped around in search for a birthday present for Kyungsoo’s mom. However, that task proved to be much more difficult and Kyungsoo settled on ordering her something online. 

“It’s getting quite late and I have to catch the train,” Kyungsoo said as they strolled along the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder. 

With a long school day tomorrow, it was time for the two to say goodbye. Jongin truly didn’t want to say farewell. The time he spent with Kyungsoo was enjoyable and there were many new things he learned about the thespian. 

“Yeah,” Jongin looked up at the starlit sky, “Today was fun.”

“I agree, we should definitely hang out more often,”

“Sounds good.”

“Get home safe, Jongin. Later, see you.” galvanizing and playful, he winked, and Jongin stood for a moment stunned. 

He wanted to groan knowing that Kyungsoo remembered that blunder of his, “Later, see you.” Jongin said and they both chuckled. He waved at Kyungsoo who turned around to walk away. 

As he stood there watching him leave, Jongin wanted to run and tell him how he truly felt. However, he decided that after such a great night, he wanted time to go home and write one last letter. 

_Tomorrow_, he thought—tomorrow, he would reveal himself. He would confess. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The hallways were void of any students. Jongin made sure to arrive earlier than he typically did, so that he would have the school building to himself. He didn’t want to risk anything with Kyungsoo on the hunt for his secret admirer. 

Jongin looked down at the envelope nestled in his palm and brought it to his lips, but stopped. He chose not to kiss this letter, it had all the luck poured into it from his previous ones. This letter didn’t need luck to get his point across. 

He shimmied and struggled like he did every morning, wiggling the letter into the crevices of Kyungsoo’s locker. With a final push, it fell inside, and Jongin gently patted the locker. 

There was no turning back. This would be his last letter as a secret admirer. 

_ Dearest Kyungsoo, _

_ When I first saw you, it was as if the world had stopped. Your essence and charm were otherworldly and I didn’t know how to approach you. I couldn't contain myself, you were astonishing on stage, and I felt that I would never be able to take my eyes off you again. With your voice, your movements, your way of interpreting your role so passionately, you’ve captured me completely. _

_ You must be wondering why I haven’t sent you letters lately and that is understandable. You see, for some time now, I’ve wanted to reveal myself to you. It’s been a hard battle to conquer within myself, one that took a lot of convincing, but I’ve finally decided that I would like to meet you as myself so that you could finally see me for who I am. _

_ I have always watched you from afar, but this time, I would like to stop being an extra within your life, and finally become someone who takes a leading role. _

_ This is the last time I will write to you, I hope to use my mouth to speak to you from now on. Forgive this insecure soul for taking its sweet time. _

_ Come to the rooftop of the main school building after your performance, I will be waiting for you there. _

_ Your admirer _

  
  
  
  
His black button up felt snug to his chest, dress pants pressed and ironed for their last accompaniment for the play ‘Peter and Wendy.’ 

The venue overflowed with numerous people. This wasn’t your typical high school theater department, it was fairly well known throughout the community and many locals came to watch along with family and friends. 

Baekhyun was present, and surprisingly along with Taeyeon. He saluted to Jongin from their seats within the third row. Minseok was also here, sending Jongin a wink from a lane seat near the back. Jongin hadn’t seen the senior since being caught by him, and didn’t expect him to show up for the event. 

He closed his eyes and readied himself mentally while in his seat within the pit, waiting for the introduction of the orchestra before the play began. He was anxious and excited to see Kyungsoo perform once again. It would be the last time before their next big stage production. 

The audience grew silent when the curtains raised signaling that the performance was about to begin. Jongin took a deep breath, lifted his violin and began playing. 

When the last actor was called to the stage to take a bow, the audience rose to their feet, boisterously cheering, whooping and hollering. Yells of ‘bravo’ and ‘brava’ filled the auditorium, shouting for an encore came second. They had a phenomenal cast, talented youths who would soon make waves in the theatrical scene. 

Jongin enjoyed the performance immensely, even though he was occupied most of the time. He never let that stop him from watching Kyungsoo.

When the audience finished praising and clapping, it was time for everyone to leave, except for those who participated in the production. Jongin was snatched away to help clean up and organize the instruments. He didn’t have a chance to speak with Kyungsoo at all, who also was kidnapped by his department for a brief congratulatory party in the dressing room. 

Jongin quickly executed his tasks, desperation running along his limbs. He craved to get things off his chest. He needed to tell Kyungsoo right _ now _how he felt before he decided to change his mind again. Feeling insecure was not fun, and Jongin was fed up with feeling this way. 

As soon as he was cleared to leave, he grabbed his violin case and the bouquet of asters and roses, which he sat aside earlier in the music classroom. 

Every step he made came with haste, he didn’t want to miss this opportunity. He didn’t know if Kyungsoo left and went home, or accompanied his friends to another location to continue their celebration. Jongin could do nothing but speculate, hoping to have made it in time. 

When he arrived at the staircase, on the bottom step leading up to the rooftop, there was a small envelope resting there. 

_ My Admirer _read on the envelope in beautiful cursive handwriting. 

He paused and placed down his violin case onto the ground, resting the bouquet of flowers on top of it. With shaky hands, he reached down to pick up the unexpecting note. It wasn’t glued or sealed shut, so pulling back the flap came with ease. He took the letter out, flipped it open and began to read. 

_ To my lovely admirer, _

_ I have written you letters in my mind that would never touch paper. Your words have made me smile on my worst days. I don’t think you could ever have foreseen the light you brought into my life. In some way, I wanted to do that for you, to bring you as much joy as you have brought me. I hope you will allow me the privilege to do so. _

_ I’ve been wanting to meet you since I received your first letter, I don't think I can keep my feelings to myself much longer. When you asked to meet, I thought I’d surely wake up and find the entire thing to be a fantastical dream. But I should have known, I could never create a dream so perfect. _

_ I’m here, where you asked me to be. _

_ With love, _

_ your dearest Kyungsoo _

Every step he made came slow and unsteady. His vision was cloudy and his brain was in a clumsy haze of excited, anxious nerves.

The door to the rooftop was cracked open, and Jongin stopped before it. His entire body lifted and sunk as he took a deep breath to calm himself. However, it did absolutely nothing to quell his escalating heart. 

Laying an open palm on the door, he pushed it open. As he did so, it slowly revealed a young man standing in the center of the rooftop facing away from Jongin. 

“It took you long enough, Jongin.” reminiscent of a melody to a love song, his voice was soothing and soft, traveling along the light breeze. There was not a trace of doubt within his words. Without so much as a glance behind, he was certain that it was Jongin. 

As much as he tried, Jongin’s open mouth couldn’t produce any sound as Kyungsoo turned to face him, that glamorous smile displaying in its pure glory. 

“I’ve been counting the days you’ve made me wait for you.” Kyungsoo muttered as he walked towards him, stopping inches from his face. His palm reached up, the cool pads of his fingertips brushing the single tear rolling down Jongin’s face. 

He wasn’t aware that he started to cry. Jongin’s gaze settle on the ground, and he desperately tried to blink away the tears to clear his eyesight. He didn’t want to continue looking at a blurry and distorted Kyungsoo. “T-there are so many things I want to tell you…”

“I think we are past the point of needing to feel shameful toward one another.” Kyungsoo’s palm slid down his face and interlaced with his hand, “There isn’t anything you have to say that I wouldn’t love to hear.” He smiled. 

“I k-know, but there’s something you have to know right now.” he lifted his head to look him in the eyes, “I need to get this off my chest, so will you listen?”

“Of course, I’m not going anywhere,”

It was time, Jongin thought. This was it. 

“For some time now…” his heart pounded at a frightening pace, his entire body trembling. It took him three deep breaths to calm down, “I would watch you,” after saying that, he realized how awful it sounded and thought to rephrase, “N-not in a stalker type way,” he hurried to correct himself, Kyungsoo chuckled. “And I really enjoyed being with you recently...we’ve had fun and it’s always easy to talk to you,” If it was as simple as romantic movies would make you believe, he would be finished talking by now. However, the words swirled around in his head, laced with the emotions forced inside of him, all pushing from behind his lips and wanting to be heard all at once.

The silence went on for a solid minute and Kyungsoo didn’t rush nor interrupt him. He simply rubbed the back of Jongin’s palm with his thumb, comforting and patient. 

“Ah, this is so hard,” Jongin sniffed, lifting his free hand to wipe his eyes. 

“Would it be easier if I spoke first?”

“No,” Jongin said with certainty. He cleared his throat and straightened his back to stand up tall as a pole. He mustered the courage of one thousand men, and said what he came to say. “Kyungsoo,”

“Yes, Jongin?” his eyes softened.

“I like y-you.” came out graceless and more timid than he intended, “Wait, no!—It’s love! Yes, love—dammit! AH!” Jongin groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, fearful of the response of his bumbling words. Almost as if Kyungsoo was responding to Jongin's thoughts, two hands tightly gripped his shirt, commanding Jongin’s eyes open and thoughts to fall by the wayside.

Being roughly tugged forward, Jongin awkwardly stumbled into a pair of soft, plush lips. The surprise in his voice was drowned out by the smooth and pleasant sensations of Kyungsoo’s lips pressed against his. 

In the beginning, their kiss was slow and experimental before Jongin grew bolder into his actions. With his bout of courage he dared to deepen this kiss, welcomed pleasantly by Kyungsoo who responded with vigor of his own. He brought a palm to Kyungsoo’s cheek, his other hand resting gently on his back. 

Their kiss was passionate heat, stirring their emotions and burning them up into the atmosphere. Sighs and whispers danced somewhere in between the love and adoration. The love they'd both held back for each other spilled out between them.

Kyungsoo pulled back first, “I love you Jongin,” he whispered before his lips, gently brushing them as he spoke. He didn’t stutter, he didn’t wait, he didn’t waver. The certainty in his voice second only to the passionate conviction reflected in his eyes as he looked at Jongin.

Jongin looked up to see Kyungsoo’s eyes were clearer than the night sky, a twinkle of love inside that any star couldn’t dare compete with. Kyungsoo looked straight ahead, piercing into Jongin’s brown irises. “I have been waiting for the day I could finally ask you to be mine, if you’d do me the honor.” he bit his thoroughly swollen lip. 

Freshly damp tears rolled down Jongin’s cheek and he didn’t even understand all of the emotions he felt, “I’d love that,” Jongin said, caressing his cheek tenderly. 

Kyungsoo’s smile spoke directly to Jongin, his eyes disappearing into a crescent moon from the raise of his cheekbones. “Perfect.”

Jongin moved closer to Kyungsoo, but halted his movement when he remembered something, “Wait, how did you know it was me?!” he asked. It slipped his mind before while caught within the moment.

Kyungsoo giggled, “I had my suspicions, and a little birdy told me…”

Jongin closed his eyes. “I’m going to kill Minseok!” He should have known after seeing the elder boy at the performance before.

“Don’t blame him too much. I forced it out of him because he kept teasing me about it.” Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed wickedly, and Jongin was tempted to step back. There was a feisty side to his now-boyfriend he had yet to venture. 

“How long have you known?”

“Hmm,” he squinted his eyes while thinking, “Since the day you helped me pick up the letters. I wanted to confirm that it was you, and you were there.” 

Jongin’s eyes nearly flew from his face, Kyungsoo knew all along. The embarrassment that washed over him was as chilling as a bucket of ice cold water.

How great of an actor was he? Jongin didn't even want to imagine. “You’re so sly, bringing that up during our conversation and everything!”

“But you got the hint! You finally confessed!”

“After I died and came back to life!”

Kyungsoo guffawed loudly and uncontrollably. It was the hardest Jongin had ever seen him laugh and it was just as lovely as everything else he did.

“Oh, wait here!” he turned on his heels and ran down the stairs where he left the bouquet. Returning with the roses in hand, he awkwardly brushed his nape, “Congratulations on your performance. You were wonderful as usual.”

A sly but proud grin spread quickly across Kyungsoo’s face. “Close your eyes.” Kyungsoo turned to the edge of the rooftop where he’d been waiting for Jongin. He gripped the long stem of the vibrant rose he’d been holding before Jongin arrived. “I thought I should offer a more _ formal _ proposal.” He turned and Jongin’s eyes fluttered open.

Jongin chuckled, “Great minds think alike, I suppose.”

He offered Kyungsoo his own bouquet. Kyungsoo looked blissfully at the vibrant arrangement “Beautiful,” he muttered, almost too low for Jongin to hear.

“Yes, you are.” Jongin said.

“Oh man, I don’t know if I can get used to this...” Kyungsoo flushed from his ears to his neck, “You’re going to kill me one day with sweet words, aren’t you?”

“Well, if those letters haven’t done it, I think you’ll be fine.”

“I suppose you have a point.” Kyungsoo said, before grabbing his free hand. 

“Now, would you honor me with your company on our first date as boyfriends?" Jongin asked, beaming with pride.

“I’d love to.” An effervescent smile bloomed across his face. 

In all of his life, Jongin was a background character, someone who didn’t truly matter because they were there solely to make others shine. But, how could he complain since it brought him to the most important role of his life?

This was where he belonged.

They walked hand in hand, heading for the door to leave the rooftop, exiting stage left.


End file.
